There was a very simple couplet
written by Kabir which we all used to recite when we were young, the essence of
it being that once a thread is broken and joint again, it shall always carry a
knot. Ever wondered why that knot stays? That knot is nothing but a simple
feeling called ego. That inflating pompous thing of righteousness and
reluctance to bow down that swells within each individual when cornered. And
thus what was nothing but a misunderstanding keeps growing into an ever
widening gulf, with each of the participants across, reluctant to take the
first step required to bridge the gap. And right now, all of our minds astray
into thoughts of familiarity of such situations. But ask yourself, why did it
ever have to come to this point?
As we progress deeper into the age of virtual connectivity, ignoring the need for reality, we are increasing the tools for communication, yet reducing whatever we used to communicate. What was once an anxious wait of months for a letter, is now replaced by impatience over the ineptness of instant reply. This often blurs the fine but distinct line of pride from ego. Pride is standing by what you believe in is right. But when ego takes over, the sense of right and wrong is replaced by the zeal to outlast the other’s stubbornness, and thus, we push ourselves further away from what should be done, build walls around ourselves, in hope that others might break through it. And so paradoxically, we slip further away from communication, which ironically lays a button away. The false sense of security eventually crashes down for we don’t realize the other people are trapped within their own walls, looking for escapes. Thus, what starts as a simple issue of miscommunication, is engulfed by ego and reluctance behind the façade of pride.
Myriad opinions and advices float around each one of us, adding fuel to the fire, further reducing our ability to see through clearly and most importantly, independently of what we should do and what we are doing. We chose to ask the question, ‘Why should I be the one to take the first step?’ rather than ask ‘How much do I value this person or group of people?’ The word compromise is often bandied around at such junctures, but what exactly is compromise? It is our willingness to accept change in return for happiness. “Why should I always compromise” goes the popular jargon. Notice that all of the above mentioned questions lay an emphasis on the word I. Yes, at the very core of it lies the fact that we feel vulnerable, and thus get defensive, protecting our interests. Inconspicuously, we forget that the best interest of our lie with them, yet we fail to acknowledge it. And the walls keep coming, till it’s too much to break through the walls that in reality do not exist.
Often success is associated with the word ego. And this is as true as the colour of sky being blue (go figure that). Blame it on poor quality of english education these days, but again two words are used interchangeably, respect and the very popular ‘ego’. Respect is something that everyone earns, but ego is something that everyone feeds. Wars have been fought, empires created and destroyed, all just to pacify the bruised ego of successful people. But a closer look at history suggests that the people who have been truly successful were the ones who stepped through those self-built walls and were easily approachable. We all forget, success is a relative term, respect is not.
A popular Japanese folktale is about how water overflows when poured into a cup that is already that full. That’s what ego is, consumes your very being, making you impervious to what is coming in. It is easier to let the cup stay full, but required character and the not so human art of forgiveness to be able to empty that cup. And we all know that empty cups are hard to find for we are caged within walls we built for ourselves. Do we have what it takes to take the first step to break through them? If so, the world would be a better place to live in, for there are enough walls that exist outside our heads, separating us, waiting to be broken.
©Copyright Darshil A Shastri
As we progress deeper into the age of virtual connectivity, ignoring the need for reality, we are increasing the tools for communication, yet reducing whatever we used to communicate. What was once an anxious wait of months for a letter, is now replaced by impatience over the ineptness of instant reply. This often blurs the fine but distinct line of pride from ego. Pride is standing by what you believe in is right. But when ego takes over, the sense of right and wrong is replaced by the zeal to outlast the other’s stubbornness, and thus, we push ourselves further away from what should be done, build walls around ourselves, in hope that others might break through it. And so paradoxically, we slip further away from communication, which ironically lays a button away. The false sense of security eventually crashes down for we don’t realize the other people are trapped within their own walls, looking for escapes. Thus, what starts as a simple issue of miscommunication, is engulfed by ego and reluctance behind the façade of pride.
Myriad opinions and advices float around each one of us, adding fuel to the fire, further reducing our ability to see through clearly and most importantly, independently of what we should do and what we are doing. We chose to ask the question, ‘Why should I be the one to take the first step?’ rather than ask ‘How much do I value this person or group of people?’ The word compromise is often bandied around at such junctures, but what exactly is compromise? It is our willingness to accept change in return for happiness. “Why should I always compromise” goes the popular jargon. Notice that all of the above mentioned questions lay an emphasis on the word I. Yes, at the very core of it lies the fact that we feel vulnerable, and thus get defensive, protecting our interests. Inconspicuously, we forget that the best interest of our lie with them, yet we fail to acknowledge it. And the walls keep coming, till it’s too much to break through the walls that in reality do not exist.
Often success is associated with the word ego. And this is as true as the colour of sky being blue (go figure that). Blame it on poor quality of english education these days, but again two words are used interchangeably, respect and the very popular ‘ego’. Respect is something that everyone earns, but ego is something that everyone feeds. Wars have been fought, empires created and destroyed, all just to pacify the bruised ego of successful people. But a closer look at history suggests that the people who have been truly successful were the ones who stepped through those self-built walls and were easily approachable. We all forget, success is a relative term, respect is not.
A popular Japanese folktale is about how water overflows when poured into a cup that is already that full. That’s what ego is, consumes your very being, making you impervious to what is coming in. It is easier to let the cup stay full, but required character and the not so human art of forgiveness to be able to empty that cup. And we all know that empty cups are hard to find for we are caged within walls we built for ourselves. Do we have what it takes to take the first step to break through them? If so, the world would be a better place to live in, for there are enough walls that exist outside our heads, separating us, waiting to be broken.
©Copyright Darshil A Shastri
Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Aangi.. :)
DeleteThis is so accurate it makes me weep!
ReplyDeleteBut as long as there's a few people like you who would willingly take the first step,
I think Earth will be okay. Don't you?